Discipleship Experiment

So, My Discipleship experiment has been going on for a month now, and to my dismay the people have totally rejected the idea of accountable discipleship. I know that I said Discipleship is a choice, but I thought that at least some would choose it. Have we become so complacent in our faith that we no longer feel that being as Christ is a necessary and obtainable goal?

On a related note, I have found that when a discussion to live in Christian discipleship has been made and their is no accountable support, when written down becomes much harder to follow through on. In my last post I discussed how well my personal discipleship was going. Since I wrote it down and made my commitment permanent and asked for others to hold me accountable to that discussion I have found it almost next to impossible to follow through with when those who were asked to hold me up have not followed through on that commitment.

I still believe that accountable Christian Discipleship is a key necessary component of a healthy Christian life, but it seem to be a harder pill to swallow in today's complacent American church than I thought.

Discipling a Discipler

So I have found that though I knew that I was called into the ministry of Discipleship, I was not fully ready to be a Discipler. I have grown tremendously in the last week or so. I now understand that my own Discipleship was not at a level which would allow me to Disciple others. Though this may seem like a disheartening discovery, it has actually been very freeing. I have been able to work on my personal spiritual discipline and it has been more than rewarding. As I have been striving towards that disciplined life that a Disciple must have it has opened me to begin to see just how I am to bring my church into the heart of the life of a Disciple. For instance, I am an extreme extrovert, so I have said many times in the past that God made me this way so I should not feel guilty for not being able to do the introverted things (like personal scripture reading, for my growth not for sermons or bible studies). So, when I began to force myself to read scripture for my soul, I began to feel the spiritual life return to my bones. I began to see myself feeling more charged and ready to do the things that I typically love to do. Not only that, but I have also begun to realize that Discipleship is not something that can be forced on anyone. Discipleship is a choice, a necessary choice, but a choice none the less. Even Wesley who required weekly Discipleship in order to be apart of corporate worship did not force the people to do it, he just held them accountable for their decision when they made it (even to the point of sending them out of the group when they no longer were willing to keep their commitments to Discipleship).

So, what does all this discovery mean to my ministry?

Well...
I am not quite sure of the total ramifications, but I know that I now must encourage (strongly encourage) my people to choose a life of Discipleship. One in which they are praying as they should, reading scripture as the could, loving other as they wish others would love them, and telling others of their wondrous freedom in Christ. I think to make this happen, they must make a firm decision of what their personal goals are and have others to hold them accountable to THEIR goals. It is not simple enough to give them a goal (for some will never accept a forced goal), or to let them select their own goals (for many will faultier in their own goals when they are kept to themselves). No, we must choose our own level of commitment in which though attainable is still a challenge and then choose others to help spur us on to meeting those goals.

God is so wonderful... I am finally feeling as though I have stepped into the perfect will of the Father for my live and it is exhilarating.

Pray for me and my church as we journey towards an intentional life of Discipleship.

The whirlwind renews

So I have not done anything on here in quite some time...

I know that I should probably be keeping up with my blog, but I have found it hard to have time to do much of anything.

God is SO good, and yet sometimes He seems so confussing (I know its not Him its me). But anyway, I have decided that Asbury is where God wants me to be (for now) though it took me quite a long time to be okay with that. Second, I believe that God wants me to start a program of focused christian discipleship (much like that of Wesley's Class meeting system). Thirdly, I wish that He had chosen someone else to help this church through these transitions. I am looking forward to starting my Masters program and now my church people feel that it is time to reinvint ourselves (most think it is God telling us to do this, some think that it is the only way that Trinity will be around in 3 to 5 years). As of January 1st we will have our primary worship be a Non-traditional service focused on the lost of our community. Great idea bad timing (for me anyway). I will ask that those of you who read this might pray for me and God's will for my life and the life of the church he has sent me to lead. i know that he will work everything out, but I just doubt my ability to cope with all the stresses of school, be a pastor, and bringing the church through such transitions (not to mention being a husband and father of four).

God your ways are true and I want to trust you so grant me peace for this journey.

Long time coming

So I took another Theological Worldview test, and most of it is no surprise but...

You scored as Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan.
You are an evangelical in the Wesleyan tradition. You believe that God's grace enables you to choose to believe in him, even though you yourself are totally depraved. The gift of the Holy Spirit gives you assurance of your salvation, and he also enables you to live the life of obedience to which God has called us. You are influenced heavly by John Wesley and the Methodists.

Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan YES
82%
Reformed Evangelical INTERESTING
71%
Charismatic/Pentecostal APPROPRIATE
64%
Neo orthodox ???
64%
Emergent/Postmodern NOT SURPRISED BUT SURPRISED
6 4%
Fundamentalist NO
54%
Classical Liberal MAYBE DEPENDING WHAT IS CLASSICAL
50%
Roman Catholic SURPRISED SO LOW
46%
Modern Liberal RIGHT ON I'M NOT A LIBERAL
14%

Frustrations, desperation, and Hope???

This past weekend has been crazy. I thought about building a boat, twice! I yelled at my congregation during Sunday Morning worship. I seriously considered giving up on ever knowing God's will for my life, and yet here I am today typing out this confession still not understanding just what it is that I am supposed to be doing.
My wife, Melissa, has always been let down by those she loves when she finally gives in and believes that something good will happen. I have tried so hard not to dotted to her like the rest of her family, but I know that I have failed her many times. Even so, I have always tried to be the optimistic one of our family, but this weekend has really shaken that reality.
I know that God always has our best in mind.
And, I know that He will never lead us astray.
And, I know that His ways are not our ways (and most of the time I am happy about that).
BUT... This weekend I found myself struggling to know just what to do or to say. Did God allow me to build up my own fantasy just so that He could smash it???
OR... Did He lead me down this path so that I could see that even he likes a practical joke every once in a while.
OR... Did He really mean to give me the best by smashing not only my heart and dreams, but my wife's as well?!? I just do not understand! I have allows tried so hard to follow His guiding and He has pulled us through so very frustrating things, but He has never build something up so much that I knew it was his will and then yanked the rug right out from underneath my spiritual feet like He did this weekend.

ALL I KNOW TO DO IS TO TRY TO HOLD BACK THE TEARS, THROW MY ARMS UP IN THE AIR, AND SAY GOD I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT UNDERSTAND, but if this is YOUR WILL well...

then...

FINE!
I do not understand and right now I don't want to understand. Just do Your thing and I will follow. I know you will not lead me wrong even if I don't understand or cannot see your will, just get me over this hurt...

I just don't get it!

I cannot help but see that the Christian life is one in which we His disciples are supposted to do everything we can to be AS Christ was. I don't see how people can resolve themselves to think that their sin struggles will not get any better and that they WILL NOT see perfection in this life. Maybe, I am wrong. Maybe, we don't have the same Spirit inside us that Christ had. Maybe, he never intended for us to taste victory in this life. Maybe, it's okay to just allow yourself to think that everything is okay, I'm trying as hard as I can and I'm not going to get any better at this anyway.

Maybe...

But I Do Not Think So. Am I wrong?!?

The Wonders of God

I realize that I have not posted in quite some time; it is partly because I have been very busy, partly because I have been very frustrated, and partly because I have been very confused. I DO NOT LIKE BEING WISHY-WASHY, which is what I feel like I have been over the last week or so. What was going on finally came to light when Craig said that he felt that he was at the end of his stretching period and was begining to revert back (Craig you always seem to articulate so well what is going on in my life when I often do not even understand that it is happening). I am begining to see that I need more of God, but not just the God that I was brought up to know and understand. I need more of the FULLNESS of God. I need more of His Spirit, I need more of His Wisdom, I need more of His Life, and yes, I NEED more of his scriptures. I need ALL of Him, every aspect of Him. I am tired of walking around just looking like I know where, what, and who I am. I NEED to KNOW that I am His. It's time to stop wandering around and finally enter . . .